An Ode to Interns

I can't believe it has taken me this long to write a post about interns, but I'm here to tell you that they are, quite literally, the single greatest creation since Nolan Bushnell combined pizza with animatronics to introduce us to one "Chuck E. Cheese."

We've hired a lot of our former interns as full time programmers, and they are exceptional, so I could write some sort of rambling piece on the process and value of interns. Instead, I'll probably write some sort of a jokey piece about "fun things to do with interns." Before we get there, though, let me tell you the single most important aspect of creating a successful intern...the "nickname."

We currently have two interns. The first one, who I shall call Chris because his name is Chris, came in to work on his first day and Ivan immediately dubbed him "T-Bone." Why? Who knows...but his name is T-Bone. We honestly haven't called him anything but "T-Bone" since that moment.

The other intern, who we shall call Tony, because his name is Tony, is a much more sordid nicknaming affair. So, in lieu of the article I should write about "fun things to do with interns", this stream of consciousness blog post shall now present a history of Tony's nickname.

1. Tony joined us after T-Bone. As such, Ivan (of naming T-Bone fame) decided upon a "theme" for our interns, and decided to dub him "Koko", in honor of the Seinfeld nicknaming episode.
2. Unfortunately, as a nickname, "Koko" is both rather derivative and somewhat demoralizing.
3. We then decided upon "Special-k", courtesy of Alan, mostly "because it made sense." Alan contends that "T-Bone and Special K" would be a kickin' rap group, so we tried it out.
4. Since we had changed "Special-ks" nickname once before, we then decided to create the "ATG Nicknaming Subcommittee", with the stated purpose of changing his nickname every single week. The first week the committee went with "Kaiser", followed by a brief stint as "K-Money", as well as a few other not so inspired names that petered out quickly.
5. The problem with creating a new nickname every week is that it is frankly too much work on those of us that have to remember the name. Sure, it seems fun at first, but sooner or later you end up saying "Hey...umm...whatever...come here."
6. Then it happened. We play basketball a couple of times a week with whichever co-workers can make it. Tony, the intern in question, is a regular. During his first game, we noted that while us "29 year olds" were panting and wheezing, the intern, due to his youth, was flying all over the place. If the ball went out of the court, we traditionally used to just call the game. Not with our intern! That kid would fly over and run after the ball! He'd zoom around the court in a fashion that I have dubbed "Wiley." It is true...he is quite Wiley.
7. We noticed that he was bubbly and full of energy, not unlike a pack of Skittles. Lightning struck! Since that day, Tony's name has been Skittles.

The fun of this, of course, is that we refer to our lovable interns solely by their nicknames, T-Bone and Skittles. At meetings, even "big boy meetings", it isn't uncommon to hear the names "T-Bone" and "Skittles" pop-up. One of the names that the group pushed for our new studios was, in fact, "T-Bone studios." It may sound horrible to have people only know you by your nickname, but it is surprisingly effective. There are people in the company who I have meetings with every single week who I am convinced have literally no idea what my name is, but if they hear "Skittles", who they have never met, they can recite a long list of achievements and accomplishments.

For those of you who have noticed by reading to this point, I'm feeling "blogged out" this week. :)