You see, I live in Chicago, Illinois. Chicago has some of the best weather in the world, and I'm defining "best" in this case to mean "worst." To make my blog appear more intelligent than it really is, I'm going to quote some random person on the internet.
I'm going to quote "DefyIntertia" from the FZ6 motorcyle forum I discovered when doing a random Google search for "Chicago weather sucks."
"Yes, the weather really does suck in Chicago. It's rarely nice, no matter the season...I'm not sure what's worse, the flat land and lack of ocean, or the horrible weather."
You can find this truism at the following link under the brilliantly headed forum subject, "Chicago Weather Sucks."
Taking this thought to its natural nerd-tastic conclusion, I created a chart:
As you can see from the above, temperatures in the area fluctuate solely between 120 degrees with 100% humidity to -100 degrees with a blizzard. The only exception to this is the month of October when temperatures are a pleasant 50ish degrees. Thus, I love October.Of course, there are three other mitigating factors that went into the decision of October being the month that I will be blogging my life on:
- My birthday is October 12. For those who don't know me, my Birthday is largely considered by those in the "know" to be sort of a conglomeration of the present mania of Christmas, the food of Thanksgiving and the Holiness of Easter, all rolled up into one, all-t00 short day. Seriously...I love presents.
- Halloween is, quite literally, the best non-present holiday ever conceived. I'll be sharing such wonders as the horror movies, Halloween specials, haunted houses, the midwestern phenomena called "corn mazes", as well as a hopeful trip to the place of this writer's birth, Pittsburgh, featuring "Kennywood Fright Nights." Also, I expect Halloween presents as well.
- Coats and scarves. I'm not kidding when I say that coats and scarves are, quite literally, the greatest clothing ever invented. I love coats and scarves. I have a scarf rack. I do. October is the first month of the year where I can wear these coats and Scarves, and I relish it. Sure, it may lack the panache of a top hat and monacle, or the pure comfort of a pantsless day in the midst of Mojito season, but in terms of good old fashioned comfort, nothing beats a coat. Take that, Snuggie!
Dear October Maniac,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I absolutely adore your blog, and it is officially my second after Facebook favorite spot in the whole World Wide Web! Considering the fact that it is already after midnight, and I am procrastinating studying for my Psychology midterm which takes place tomorrow at 6 PM, I would like to share with you my sentiment for October, and Chicago.
October is the best month in the whole year, simply because it is the month of cool people. I mean, you were born in October, and so was I. See, that fact alone makes it a special month. My birthday is October 16th. How about we have a big birthday bash, invite half of Chicago to one of the spiffy clubs in the downtown area, and drink the night away, reminiscing about all good that October has ever given us? Oh, and we will share all presents we collect that night fifty-fifty.
When it comes to Chicago itself, I think it is the best city ever! And by “best” I really mean best. Some dude complained it has no access to the ocean. Well, we have Lake Michigan here, which if you really think of it makes Chicago a very ocean-like place to live. Lake Michigan gives us the feeling of ocean each time we walk by it. And by that I do not mean the amazing view of greenish slimy water alone with some mutated fish in it. Lake Michigan stimulates all of our senses, the view, the smell of the fishy odor coming from it, the feel of breeze blowing from the lake, rocking the second-hand used up boats parked at the harbor. Don’t you just want to take a plunge in that lake simply because of reading about it?
Dear October Maniac, I do not understand how you can complain about Chicago weather. Think of it as a gift from gods - and a very economic gift from gods I mean. The amazing 100 degrees weather with 100% humidity could potentially save you big $$ simply because you can use it as a backyard sauna, which gets you the same sweaty balls, without having to waste time to get to the sauna, strip in front of strangers, feel uncomfortable and self conscious secretly comparing your ‘potential’ with the ‘potential’ of others who decided to spend the same big $$ as you did only to get all sweaty and uncomfortable around each other. So as you see, you can save some $$, nerves, and self-esteem with the crazy Chicago summer weather.
Dear October Maniac, complaining about winter in Chicago is a sin (check the appendix at the 10 Commandments “Thau shall appreciate Chicago winter”). Do not forget, that Chicago winter gives us abundance of opportunities to be late for work again, and have a good excuse for it. Finding a car under a mountain of snow is not easy. Not being eaten alive by a neighborhood Yeti who once again saved her spot by the curb with a set of backyard chairs, and guards it with her life, is even a greater miracle. Even the strictest of strict managers or produces will understand it if he/she (to eliminate the glass ceiling) had to go through the same in the morning. In addition, besides being a perfect excuse for being late for work, the legendary blizzards, which are a definite part of the Chicago winter, often are a perfect excuse for yet another half day, due to a deadly snow storm.
So, dear October Maniac - have a great October, enjoy Chicago, and smile for goodness sake - winter's almost here! Oh, and if you want a new scarf for this season, I can knit you one – as a birthday gift.
1. sharing presents? dream on girlfriend. i've been trying to work that angle for years.
ReplyDelete2. the amazing & humidity-filled "sweat sauna" of summer is lost on urban jabroni. he is -proudly- part penguin & there is, i can assure you, no economic benefit to keeping his house a constant 65 degrees during those summer months. (i had to work him up from 60...)
3. happy october birthday to you too :)
4. if your just handing out scarves...