A race car bed for Yuppy Children

If you are reading this blog, and you are, I can discern two immediate facts about you. First of all, you have discerning literary taste, and second, you wanted a race car bed as a child. I can discern the second fact because, let's be honest, we all wanted that damn race car bed. For those of you unaware, it is, as you can imagine, a bed shaped like a race car.

I'll even do the work for you and Google a picture:

As you can see by the picture, it clearly turns ordinary bedtime into a pulse-pounding, seat-of-your-pants adrenaline rush.

So, you can imagine my post-Yuppy glee when I discovered the following at the mall the other day:
I dub this bed the "S.S. Sleepytime" or perhaps "S.S. Funship Dreamtime." It is a bed, but it is also a FREAKIN' BOAT. Not only is it a boat, but the craft looks sturdy enough for an actual round-the-world sea voyage racing a similar bed-boat sailed by a stout crew of children from New Zealand or Australia. You'll note that the race car bed is made of plastic, which very few actual race cars are made of. The "S.S. Awesome", however, is made of actual wood...wood which I can only assume came from a tree that is now extinct and only lived on the surface of our planet for six weeks.

I don't yet have children, but when I do, young Reginald Pennipench will be heading off to dreamland each night on the "H.M.S. Nappington" in full Captain's Pajamas. He will also wake up at 6am when his mother takes him to Polo practice as I sleep in until noon, but that is an entirely different story.